I recently heard someone say that doing nothing is a choice, and this resonated with me so deeply that I have chosen to write about the subject of choice this month.
I often hear people saying that they ‘didn’t have a choice’, but in all honesty, whether you like to admit it or not, you do always have a choice. You may not like the choices on offer, and you may feel that you are caught between a rock and a hard place, but you always, always have a choice.
(We also need to remember that doing nothing is a choice too!)
We are constantly making choices
We all make many choices throughout the day, from the simple things like what to wear and what to eat as well as bigger decisions that can affect our lives: changing jobs, beginning and ending a relationship, moving house – the list goes on, but it is also important to understand that we are constantly making choices regarding our behaviour; our behaviour insofar as how we react to the people, places and things going on around us in each and every moment of each and every day.
Years ago, when I needed to make a difficult choice, I would discuss the various options with all my friends, one by one, and as each person offered their opinion, I would think yes, they’re right or no, that’s not for me, changing my mind with each differing opinion until I just knew what I needed to choose, but as you might imagine, this took a considerable amount of time.
While still contracting in the television industry, I was offered a new job and had a terrible time choosing whether or not to accept the offer. I was deliberating between having secure employment and the possibility of not finding another contract, of leaving myself with no income and not being able to pay my mortgage. The biggest problem I had in] that moment was that I hated the company I was working for – their values were not in alignment with mine. I was really struggling to make such a huge choice with so many unknown elements, so much so that I couldn’t sleep for worrying about it. Then one day, a friend pointed out to me that it was the same job, just wrapped in different wrapping paper.
This was a real lightbulb moment and I finally had the courage to make a choice: I turned the job offer down. The next morning, I went into work to speak to the head of the drama department, who had made the offer. Interestingly, the first question he asked me was had I slept well? In that moment I knew that I had made the right decision because I had slept extremely soundly rather than tossing and turning and worrying about the path I had chosen to take. Since then, I often offer friends and clients the advice that if you make a choice and you sleep well you know that it is the right choice for you. I now have an even better way to assist you in making good choices.
How to make good choices
It is completely natural to worry about whether we are making the right choice, especially when we are having to make the big, life-changing choices that we all have to make at some point in our lives. So how do we make the best choice available to us in any given moment? I’m sure most of you have been recommended to make a list of the pros and cons when faced with life-changing choices but in recent years, I have learnt to lean into what I feel inside of myself in order to make the best possible choice for me.
For example, imagine that you have to choose between Choice A and Choice B.
- Take a moment to make yourself comfortable. You may even like to close your eyes and focus on your breath; this will help to bring you into your heart centre as you gently calm and centre yourself.
- Then imagine how life would be if you chose A. See yourself in the situation where A is your reality – how does it feel? Does your energy feel expansive, does it feel good, is it exciting?
- Come back to your breath once again and then imagine how life would be if you chose B. See yourself in the situation where B is your reality – how does it feel? Does your energy feel expansive, does it feel good, is it exciting?
- Finally, come back to your breath once again.
Generally, when you do this exercise one option will feel great, more expansive than the other and bingo – you now know which choice to make.
The importance of choosing to be who you truly are
Are you choosing to be who you truly are or are you choosing to be who you think you should be to fit in or to please others? In the first instance, I believe our individual journeys through life are about becoming who we truly are and it often takes courage, focus and intention. As you learn to tune into yourself, as you allow yourself to feel your feelings and as you listen to the wisdom within, you are making a conscious choice to be yourself. When you are numb to your own feelings and when you make choices to please and placate others you are making a passive choice.
Choice as an active process
Choice is an active process and it can mean that we step away from the thoughts, feelings and choices of the collective. This can be scary, but it is also one of the most rewarding and liberating things you can do for yourself and for those around you. As you learn to make your own individual choices, conscious choices, life begins to flow in a positive trajectory and as those around you observe your wonderful experiences. You both show them the way and give them permission to do the same. Never make a choice for someone else and never let anyone else make a choice for you! I invite you to make the best choice for you and I ask you to be aware in making conscious choices.
How healing and guided meditation can help with making choices
If you find it difficult to see the wood for the trees when it comes to making choices, I do highly recommend healing and/or meditation, because both can really help when you need to make transformational life decisions. Through the process of healing and/or meditation we work on clearing your energy field and your mind space – this assists you with having clarity and in turn supports you in making positive choices. I can always talk you through the above process as I hold space for you, enabling you to feel your feelings as we work together, gently recalibrating your energy field and dissolving away old learnt behaviours and limiting beliefs. This all has the wonderful benefit of helping you to make the best choices for you to move forwards in truly amazing and abundant ways.
Through the healing process and through regular meditation practice you learn to be aware of your feelings; you learn to be grounded and centred in your physical body and this brings you more clarity around the choices you make, both in your behaviours and your actions.
Please do get in touch if you’d like my support on your healing journey, or call me on +61 4 2451 8884.