Trust is a big issue for many of us, and certainly, many of my clients have been taught early in life not to trust themselves. In our collective societies, we have been taught to put our trust in those in positions of authority and power over and above trusting ourselves, and for many of us, we are beginning to see that this is not serving us. We need to learn to trust ourselves unconditionally; trust is fundamental to the basis of all healthy relationships, but firstly, you need to trust yourself.

Trust and Intuition

I have struggled with the issue of self-trust most of my life – in fact, it is one of my greatest life lessons. The area of trust that I struggle with most is in my personal relationships with family and friends. This is because I was conditioned from a very early age not to trust my own feelings and intuition.

A great example of this is when you and your family visit an elderly relative and as you are leaving, you tell your young child to give them a hug or a kiss. Your child doesn’t want to, but you tell them not to be silly and to give ‘Aunty Flo’ a hug. In doing this you are teaching your child to override their own feelings and their intuition because you don’t want ‘Aunty Flo’ to be offended, but the more we repeat this lesson, our children begin to override their instincts about strangers and adults that they don’t know but instinctively don’t like the feel of.

Do You Trust Yourself?

Do you trust yourself or are you looking for validation from friends and family? It is very important to feel into your own feelings, observe those inner knowings and the more you listen to them and the more you follow them, the stronger those messages, those signals, will become. It truly is time to learn to trust yourself implicitly.

The deeper you connect into your own inner knowing the more reliable it becomes. Your feelings will never lie to you, but there is a need to go within to feel your feelings so that you can learn to differentiate between your true feelings and your ego taking you off track. It may initially be trial and error, but as you observe those feelings that reward you with a positive outcome and those that do not, you begin to learn to trust those innermost feelings – your own divine guidance.

We need to be able to trust ourselves on a personal level, in all our relationships – our relationships with family, friends, work colleagues and with people we’ve only just met for the first time – essentially, with everyone. This includes learning to trust your intuition, learning to trust your heart and learning to trust your inner wisdom, enabling you to hear the whispers of your soul.

The Three Fundamental Levels of Trust

There are three fundamental levels of trust. Firstly, we have operational trust, then shadow trust and thirdly, brilliant trust. Once you understand these three concepts you can begin to apply them to every relationship, and you can begin to learn when it is safe to be your shiny brilliant self or whether it’s best just to be your authentic self without shining too brightly.

Operational Trust

Operational trust is the simplest to observe. Simply put, it is about knowing whether you can trust someone to do what they have said that they will do but remember – all levels of trust work both ways. Does the other person know that they can trust you to complete the tasks you have agreed to do too? If someone continually needs to move the goal posts, I would suggest that you don’t have operational trust unless you have the confidence and the strong boundaries to call them out on their behaviour.

Shadow Trust

Next we have shadow trust. Shadow trust is when we are in our shadow, when we are in our crap and we are playing out our learnt behaviours, those behaviours that are so deeply ingrained within us that until we choose to become aware of them they seem uncontrollable, and we can be unaware that we even have these behaviour patterns. They are often the patterns of behaviour that we were taught when we were very young; they have been deeply ingrained within us, but they are generally outdated and no longer serve us. It means that you are out of alignment with your true self.

Those around you need to be able to trust that you will take ownership of this negative behaviour once you come back into alignment, so that you take full responsibility for your actions and for how things have played out. If you have shadow trust with someone else it means that you know when they move out of their stuff, when they move out of their crap, you can trust that they will recognise that they were in their stuff and they will be able to acknowledge that and come back to their true self. If they are unable to do this then they often make you out to be in the wrong and dump the negative situation, the negative outcomes, on to you.

When you begin to observe the different levels of trust you have with people, your relationships begin to change in positive ways. Without this knowledge, you can continually feel let down by various people because either operational trust or shadow trust are not in place. As you begin to understand the levels of trust you have with someone you know when you can and can’t trust them, but you also begin to step back from those with whom you don’t have the basic levels of trust. The first time someone lets you down might be a one-off, but the second time it happens it is more than a coincidence and by the third time, it is a pattern.

Brilliant Trust

Thirdly, we have brilliant trust. Brilliant trust is when you are totally open to your own brilliance, to your consciousness – you trust it and act on it. When you shine your brilliance out into the world and it inspires another person, you know that you can trust them with your brilliance, but if they shoot you down you know that you don’t have brilliant trust with them. Remember, just as with shadow trust and operational trust, it works both ways – trusting yourself with your brilliance as well as whether or not you can trust others with your brilliance.

Brilliant trust is the hardest, because some people are just not awake enough to delight in you shining your brilliance out into the world and inspiring others. They want you to stay small so that they feel safe or maybe even so that they can feel superior to you. Take time to observe who you do and who you don’t have brilliant trust with then you can make an informed choice about who you spend time with.

I still struggle with brilliant trust in my personal life – as always, I’m a work in progress. When you find someone with whom you have brilliant trust it truly is the most magical feeling so don’t give up and if you don’t yet feel you have brilliant trust with anyone, you will find your tribe and then you will find it. Just keep observing how you trust yourself: trust your feelings and trust your intuition because brilliant trust is on its way.

As always, I wish you a magical voyage of self-discovery as you journey along your path and as you begin to observe the different levels of trust, noticing the positive shifts in your relationships as you come to understand who you can and can’t trust – including yourself!

Safe travels as you shine your brilliance out into the world to inspire others and as you step into being all that you came here to be. Step into all the joy life has to offer you and enjoy the ride!

Please do get in touch if you’d like my support. I’d love to assist you on your healing journey and guide you through empowering meditations as you connect ever more deeply into who you truly are. Contact me on +61 4 2451 8884 or email hello@pippaneve.com.